Saturday, February 23, 2013

Diary 23 feb

Yesterday I decided it was time to learn how to make fire without matches, a lighter, firesteel etc.
I still have not managed to make a fire with natural materials and knowing how to do this before I leave is vital. I tried the bowdrill and fire plough techniques and I get smoke but not a good amber and it leaves me wondering what I do wrong. Since it is still cold outside I decided to practice making sparks with stones yesterday. About a year ago I found many black, shiny stones during my vacation, I brought many home with me because I naturally assumed that this was flint or Vuursteen (Firestone) as we call them in Holland.

So yesterday I tried the Flint & Steel method again but I do not get sparks! Frustrates the hell out of me.
I do not have a good iron striker but I have several carbon steel knives that should do the trick.. but it doesn't.. I tried it with a piece of flint and my opinel and did not get any sparks. Then I even tried a piece of flint on another piece of flint.. Stupidly enough that did worked.. I got very few sparks but they're useless. One piece of flint even had some iron/rust content. I have seen how it should be done on tutorials. Either there is a secret to this technique I don't know about, Or the pieces of flint are in fact not flint at all and just looks like it.   I better try and find some help online.

While I was add it smashing flint on flint a flake broke of. A realy thin piece of flint. Well if I can't use this crap for making sparks or a fire then why not try to make a arrowhead out of that thin flake. Making a stone arrowhead with my level of experience will take at least a few days so I'll get back on that later.

Today I am going to read the Lord of the Rings one last time since I cannot bring it with me, during my final days here among humanity I will read all my books and watch my favourite movies one last time and then throw them away. Going away and leave nothing behind.

I am not completely sure but there is a chance that before I go I have one final holiday with my gf and the kids. A holiday in a park in a forest. That gives me the chance to practice some skills and sleep a night outside before I actually head out. But since my gf nowadays is trying to get her driving license and now she has joined a gym it is very possible that we won't be able to afford a quick vacation. I hate it when it's all about her.

That's it for now, take care everyone, here is the song of the day.
"Let's hear it for the hottest band in the world..."

 KISS - Shandi


  1. On a topic not related to this post;
    How are you planning to leave? And with that I mean that you're described as a 'dad'. I don't mean to be insensitive or something, but is your wife/daughter okay with this? Or, well, dont you have those anymore (cant say this without looking insenstive I guess)

    1. Hey there

      A few months ago I wrote this post..

      It deals with the simple fact that in order to leave this all behind I will also have to leave my children behind. I have two daughters that are 5 years old and one daughter who is 1 year old, they cannot possible be ok with this on that age they wouldn't understand.

      My wife and I are technically in a relationship but we are total strangers nowadays and the love between us must have died years ago. We live somewhat as friends in the same house with our children.
      I'm beginning to think that she knows about my uncomming trip but she doesn't realy seem to care, which is fine by me.

      The day I'll leave will be the hardest day in my life because there is always a chance that I might never see my children again. Leaving them at such a young age probably makes me look like a coldhearted bastard but truth is that without them I would have left a long time ago.
      They are the only reason why I would stay, on the other hand there would be a thousand reasons why I would leave.

  2. Well, to me it sounds like you want the best for them, but you simply cannot do this because you have this unexplainable force pulling you, telling you you NEED to do this.

    And I get that. And I am sure your kids will eventually get it too.
    If I were in this situation, I'd leave a box behind which they can't open untill they're at an age where they might understand, like around 18 or something, including a note, some pictures and personal belongings. Just for the sake of precautions. You seem like a good man, and I am sure you're not doing this because you hate your kids, not because you're coldhearted. It's the meaning of life, For both you and me, I guess. Well, for me it certainly is. The purpose of my life.

  3. I like the box idea. I thought about leaving letters behind so they can read them later on and in those letters I would write why I left. Unfortunately I am affraid that if I'd do that and leave and my wife would find them that she would destroy them or throw them away in an angry mood.

    Would she actualy do that? I'm not sure..
    But when it comes to photo's; I won't be trowing any of them away.
    That is also another reason why I have this blog.. When I leave I will not delete this blog and once they are older they could read it and getting a better understanding of it all.

    You're right I don't hate my kids. They are the only people on the face of this earth that I would do anything for. If there's one thing in my life that I was realy good at it was at being a father. I have spend a lot of time and energy with them and I will continue to do so untill I leave.

    When I'm out of here I will think about my father every now and then, and my mother, or past friends but my children will be on my mind every day.