Sunday, June 30, 2013

I am going to live in the wild, Goodbye all.

This is it.. my final post.

Today,  I will walk out the door never to return again. I will pack my stuff and head East to live a solitary life as a nomad/hunter gatherer.   Remember that i'm not running away from all my problems, I'm running towards solutions.

In the wilderness I might survive for 30 years or I can be dead in 3 months.. If I'm found dead remember that I had 3 awesome months and that I realy lived my life the way I wanted it to be in those days. I take full responsibility for my actions.

Creating this blog has been alot of fun but it ends here. This blog will not be deleted (by my hand) but nothings lasts forever.

I am in for a lifechanging experience, the biggest adventure of my life and probably the last. At this moment i'm overwelmed with different emotions but it is all good. Who knows.. my journey might one day become big news, maybe they'll make a film about it just like they did with "Into the wild" hahaha.. but that's not the goal here. I am off to live a solitary existance, a survive and thrive lifestyle. My children and my family will be always on my mind.

I will give up my daily job as a nobody and I will become a survivalist, a hunter, a fisherman, a trapper, a farmer, a nomad, a monk, an artist, a woodcarver, a philosopher, a explorer.. i will keep myself busy..

May the Gods drink on my journey and may they be a guide on my path towards the unknown.
May the beloved ones I leave behind find happiness and peace
Anyhow my time has come.. Like Bilbo Baggins said: "I want to see mountains again Gandalf, mountains!".
Feel free to post comments but know that I won't be able to reply out there.

I wish all of you a great life, make something of it, live it the way you want it to be lived as you only live once. Farewell and go in peace.
Take care, Ralph

To eternity and beyond

Saturday, June 8, 2013

30th of June.. Departure day

I will be leaving June the 30th.. I feel pretty good, the weather is just great, it hasn't rained in days and I can't see a single cloud right now. This is the springtime I have been waiting for.
A few days ago I decided to leave the 30th and yesterday I printed the entire route I will have to cycle.

All in all.. I'm ready for the biggest adventure of a lifetime

Saturday, June 1, 2013

It won't be long now

So I have decided to leave before Juli 1st. In my last post I've mentioned that the trip/journey/quest will be delayed.. I guess I was waiting for the perfect moment.. Now I know that perfect moment will never come. I just have to go do it and make it perfect. Emotional issues.. sure.. but here I have too much time on my hands to think back and dwell in the past. I am packing my bag once more one last time.

I will let everyone know when I head out

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Into the wild.. Trip delayed

I have to be honest here. I don't think I'm ready to head out the 25th due to emotional issues.
When I walk out this door I want to feel good but instead I feel like I have unfinished bussiness around here.
No I'm not crying my eyes out here but I can't say I'm happy either and I don't want to have worries on my mind when I'm gone. My mind should be clear, fresh and at peace.. and it isn't. And I also need to find out what this chick wants from me.. but that's another story all by itself.

So that's it. As it looks now I can't leave the 25th. And I have no idea when I will, could be next month, could be next year. Once I have nomore unfinished bussiness I'm outta here

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Diary 9 may

It's a nice sunny day outside. I have been spending the last couple of days writing, listening to Tupac on youtube, doing fitness and I find myself fantasizing about better days in the future. I have also been walking barefoot for the last couple of days, I'm no Cody but I still better get used to this.
I'm poundering over my social issues, like I said before I have been becoming more social lately and that's good but not if you're about to head out on a solo adventure for the rest of your life. I even met a girl, or I think I have.. we'll see. I should have left a month ago when I was still a recluse. Then I would have only missed my children instead of any human contact.

Ahwell it's not going to mess up my plans, Goodbye for now

Sepultura - Ratamahatta

Sunday, May 5, 2013

Diary 5 may

Hi there everyone

I am again living in Velp but on my own this time. I am living in a group with other people.. How do I say that in english.. About 9 people live in this house temporarely. Each of us has their own problems and some have seen more shit then others. We all have one thing in common.. We all don't have a steady roof over our heads.. You could call this home a shelter for the homeless and keep it at that. It's not the same but it's getting close.

I'm now living at walking distance from my children yet I haven't seen them in a month or so, even though it feels like it has been years. Since we are now living in the same, small town there is a chance I might sooner or later stumble upon them.. And if I do and they run up to me, what do I say then? Can I hold up the tears or would I brake down.

Since they are out of my life I have changed.. Boy have I changed alot
I pretend to be happy. Put on my biggest smile but only for a while. The entire day I have this song in my head.. "I am half the man I used to be" (Nirvana?) and that is exactly how I feel. I try to find healing in art, spiritual growth and other people. I find myself looking at woman again and my mind is telling me to look for love. Stupid...
I should be enjoying my freedom of being single after all this shit and I do not want to meet someone new and settle down again. I have past this. been there done that. Yet my mind betrays me and makes me think of girls I have barely met. Love and intense relationships cannot possibly be the cure so I will continue this battle with my mind and remain free.

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

In case you won't hear from me again..

My dear fellow readers.

As you all know it has become harder and harder to find to time to log on to the internet. I am still staying in Delft with friends of my father and everytime I am alone I head to my blog to see what has been going on.
I have always feld like I should write a goodbye-message to my readers on the day I would leave just to let them know that I have left to live my dream.

But since the situation has changed a week can go bye without being online so I want to let all of you know that if you don't hear from me anymore and the 25th of May has past, know then that I have taken off unfortunately without having had the chance to say goodbye. 

Also remember that I won't be deleting this blog but that it also will not be updated.. Since I won't be bringing a laptop, Ipad or other device with me with which I can log on.

Take care, No regrets