Diary 9 may

It's a nice sunny day outside. I have been spending the last couple of days writing, listening to Tupac on youtube, doing fitness and I find myself fantasizing about better days in the future. I have also been walking barefoot for the last couple of days, I'm no Cody but I still better get used to this.
I'm poundering over my social issues, like I said before I have been becoming more social lately and that's good but not if you're about to head out on a solo adventure for the rest of your life. I even met a girl, or I think I have.. we'll see. I should have left a month ago when I was still a recluse. Then I would have only missed my children instead of any human contact.

Ahwell it's not going to mess up my plans, Goodbye for now

Sepultura - Ratamahatta

Diary 5 may

Hi there everyone

I am again living in Velp but on my own this time. I am living in a group with other people.. How do I say that in english.. About 9 people live in this house temporarely. Each of us has their own problems and some have seen more shit then others. We all have one thing in common.. We all don't have a steady roof over our heads.. You could call this home a shelter for the homeless and keep it at that. It's not the same but it's getting close.

I'm now living at walking distance from my children yet I haven't seen them in a month or so, even though it feels like it has been years. Since we are now living in the same, small town there is a chance I might sooner or later stumble upon them.. And if I do and they run up to me, what do I say then? Can I hold up the tears or would I brake down.

Since they are out of my life I have changed.. Boy have I changed alot
I pretend to be happy. Put on my biggest smile but only for a while. The entire day I have this song in my head.. "I am half the man I used to be" (Nirvana?) and that is exactly how I feel. I try to find healing in art, spiritual growth and other people. I find myself looking at woman again and my mind is telling me to look for love. Stupid...
I should be enjoying my freedom of being single after all this shit and I do not want to meet someone new and settle down again. I have past this. been there done that. Yet my mind betrays me and makes me think of girls I have barely met. Love and intense relationships cannot possibly be the cure so I will continue this battle with my mind and remain free.

Diary 18 april

My dear Friends, Readers, future Adventurers and those alike..

My last post was a little short while so much has happened lately in my life.
Like I said; Me and my girlfriend have broke up and I moved out in order to keep the peace. She kept the house, the children and my money so I'm basicaly left with nothing.
It seems stupid of me to agree with this but I did it for the kids.. They need to stay there close to their school and family and since their school, clothes, food and what not needs to be payed from my income I had no choice but to leave my money and bankcard there for the moment. Then again money means little to me so I'm not upset. Since the break up I'm staying with my family. At first with my father and steph-mom, and now at my stephmom's sisters home in Delft.
I am taking it easy here.. I'm not angry anymore at my ex-girlfriend or her family, as a matter of fact I decided to not get angry anymore at anyone or anything.. I'm all peace..

The whole idea of not being connected to the internet for weeks would have scared the crap out of me in the past but lately my situation was just that, and I didn't got bored for a single second. My life has been turned upside down.. I am surrounded by the most friendly people imaginable, they provide me with shelter, food and comphort without asking anything in return. Back then in Velp I thought these kind of people were extinct. I am keeping my mind occupied by being creative.
I'm reading books, writing poetry and hymns, drawing with pencil and charcoal and I'm busy with painting Aphrodite.  Is there an artist awakening inside of me or is it in fact a way of keeping myself distracted so I do not have to face the fact that I miss my children?  Maybe a bit of both.
And I do miss them, I wonder how they are doing and what they are doing. Apart from that I'm doing better then ever.
I'm sitting here in the garden. The sun is shining, flowers are everywhere. Spring has arrived and there's calmth coming over me, it feels like a constant state of meditation. I will be moving to Velp again the 4th or 6th of may (probably) to live on my own, from there on I will be preparing and biting my time until I leave the 25th.
All goes as planned....

Regards, Ralph

Update: what happened lately..

Hey everyone it has been a while since I've posted anything. This is because my plans have been messed up a bit.
A few weeks ago my girlfriend broke up with me. Like I've said before, There is little love between us so I can't say I care and the only thing that makes me sad is that I miss my children.  When we broke up I stayed with my father near Rotterdam and at the moment I am staying with friends of the family in Delft. In the meanwhile I could not go online anywhere untill now. In May the 4th (or something) I will be moving to Velp again but this time to live alone in a small but comphy home. And I will be able to make the journey the 25th.
So after all plans have not changed.

That's it for now, All is fine. Greatings Ralph Sungila, The Dutch Hermit

Diary 27 march

I started reading The Lord of the Rings by Tolkien. It is my favorite book yet I never ever got to finish it but hey.. 1248 pages, you can't really blame me.  Once I've read it I'm going to throw it away, there's no point in keeping it since I'm leaving. Once I leave I'll be taking a few books with me for on the road but this one is too heavy so I read it now.

I also try to keep myself busy with woodcarving but lately I can't find any inspiration.
At the moment the kids are at school and madame is off working so I'm all alone. Gives me the time to do some more fitness.

I have been spending a lot of time imagining what my life will be like in a few months, visualizing it, ever since I started this blog. I have also spend quite some time lately to find inspiration; Stories of others who are either going to live in the wild or who have already done so for a couple of years.

For the song of the day.. Sepultura - Ratamahatta.. So this is what it sounds like when you mix metal with tribal music.. awesome song..

Sepultura - Ratamahatta

Diary 25 march

Today was a day like any other but I feel pretty good. The weather however is pretty horrible, the snow is finally gone but it has been very windy for many days now. The fence in my backyard looks pretty damaged, it's nothing more but a wooden sail out there. Lately I'm doing pretty good, spending a lot of time with the kids, playing and teaching them how to write letters and numbers and reading them bedtime stories, today I have read them the story of Herakles..

Soon I won't be able to do that anymore so I enjoy it while I still can. But I try not to think about it.

What else am I up to lately.. Well I still try to learn a few tricks when it comes to woodcarving, I'm still practicing fitness and tomorrow I will no longer do bodyworkouts alone but also use free weights. I'm also checking out major bushcraft/survival websites and forum to see if there are any skills I have missed and might be useful to learn.

That's it for now I'm off to bed, my kids have to go to school tomorrow.. peace out!

The Beatles - Across the Universe



Diary 22 march

Knife & Flint firemaking method succes!!!!

Well what can I say.. I did it! I have looked for info on how to make sparks with a stone and a carbon knife. I have tried this method before but now I know that I never used enough force and speed. So now I tried it again and a smile appeared on my face after I got a spark.. and another.. and another..

Yes I am pretty damn proud of myself right now.. especialy because this method is clearly a lot harder then using a normal steel striker. I had succes with both my Opinel and my Mora and with different flint stones. Great.. I can make sparks this way.. But tomorrow I will actualy try to make a fire with this method using dry grass and charcloth. I will get better at this over time. If I succeed at that aswell then I will  try the bow drill technique again.

There is a chance that my sister-in-law gets her driving license in a few weeks so today she already bought her first car, or her father bought it for her I think.. doesn't matter realy.. It's a blueish Ford Ka and even though it's not my kinda car I was happy for her. Her whole family came to visit again but it did not bother me this time. I do not get angry like I use to do.

I do not have much to say other then that I'm doing allright so i'm off to watch the second part of this great movie called The Odyssey and then tuck in for the night.. here is the song of the day



The Police - Message in a bottle

Diary 19 march

Yesterday my father and stepmom came to visit, like all other people who I know personally, they haven't got a clue about my plans to leave soon.
We had a great day, we ordered some chinese, my father warned my about how the government is talking about cutting welfare and urged me to find a job and get a career.. if only he knew..
My stepmom talked about her medical condition and my stepsister unfortunately couldn't come.
Before they left we made an agreement that we would visit them next time.. but deep inside I realize that this might have been the last time I've seen them..

I am also thinking about my mother.. the last time I've seen her was more then a year ago.. The last time I really had a good conversation with her was more then 5 years ago easily. The same goes for my sister.
Since I've moved the bond between my mother and sister became stronger then ever while the relationship between me and my mother is awful right now. We are not in a fight! not at all.. We just don't talk anymore for some reason. And I know that we won't be seeing or talk to eachother in the coming months, so I will have to say goodbye to my mother and sister.

Do I cry about it?.. No.. I wish I could.. but I haven't cried in years now, I have learned how to swallow any form of pain.

This is the state I'm in right now.. Saying goodbye to people, aswell as the lifestyle I have lived.. a lifestyle that includes modern Popmusic, Star wars, Espresso coffee, Internet, Microwave meals, 8 o'clock News and buying useless crap.

Only then I can fully embrace my new lifestyle.. A lifestyle of self reliance in it's purest form.

People who know me personally probably think that I wouldn't survive out there because I seem lazy and unmotivated.. And I can't blame them.. I never had a real job, I never graduated and lately I seem to have no real friends, I never go out... I am, as most would call it.. quite a failure.
And yes, I have failed at being a participant in the urban ratrace and if I stay here, living like this, I maybe die when I'm 75 years old and lived like a complete failure.

I do not fear death. But living a long life that is meaningless, pointless.. that scares the hell out of me!

So this is what I have to do in order to live a meaningful life, going back to the basics, living a simplified life in the middle of nowhere. So what if they think I couldn't survive? I can say that at the very least I know the basics of wilderness survival which is more then they'll ever know.

Anyhow I am going off topic here..
Saying goodbye to my parents and sister is hard on me. especially because I have to keep all of this a secret so I can't letterly tell them goodbye. All this secrecy is wearing me down so much. On the day I leave I will also have to face saying goodbye to my children. They are the only ones that put a smile on my face. Like I said before; if I didn't have any children I would have left years ago.
But I do have children and I love them alot and I know they love me as well. That day will be the hardest day of my live and maybe theirs as well. They are typical "daddy's girls".. Last year they often cried and freak out if I would head out fishing for a couple of hours.... Within a couple of months they will wake up and daddy will be gone and they will never see him again.....  The sheer thought of it makes me sick in my stomach and that day will most likely haunt me for many years to come.

Untill that day comes I will spend as much time with the girls as possible.. It's all I can do.. But I have to go.



Diary 14 march

The children are off to school and the miss is heading to her job which leaves me some time to write.
It has been 3 days yet nothing interesting happened to write about.

I have been looking into woodcarving and I have been teaching myself some kolrosing, a Scandinavian carving artform and at the moment I'm practicing on the handle of my mora spoon knife. I believe knowing how to turn a piece of wood into an artwork is a great way to pass the time if you're heading into the forests anyway. If my future works can be considered art or not is all in the eyes of the beholder, as long as I like it.
I'm also thinking about making a wooden spirit on the handle of my opinel. I will post some pictures later on.

Some time ago I said that I would post a few letters on this blog in my own language. A letter to my family-in-law and to my children. Yet 2 days ago I heard that my my girlfriends father talked behind my back again. All of a sudden I realised again why I didn't like them and why we don't mix. I wanted to be passive towards them like I wrote in a previous entry yet here I find myself again with war on my mind.
My girlfriend told him that I was into fitness lately and apperently he said that 'I can't do pushups'.
That old mummy clearly overestimates himself and he clearly seems to underestamates me. I am certainly not the next Jean claude van damme, point taken. But I can do more pushups then the old fart.
Well here it is guys... I promised not to write anymore negative stuff about my family in law but I write whatever is on my mind and he just forced me to get this 'Cold war' between me and them started again.
Next time he visits I'll ask him.. "I can't do pushups? Ok.. Show me how it's done"..

So no, I will not write a letter to my family-in-law neither on or offline. It's not worth my time and effort. I thought they to deserved an explanation about why I left or why I never socialised with them. So I will just write a letter to my children on this blog in my own language so they can read it when they're older (and blogger still exists). I will write a letter to my father and mother aswell, but a real letter, They are ready to be send.

Sigh.. That's it for now.. If you want more info on Kolrosing and carving wooden Spirits here are some nice links..
http://ravenlore.co.uk/html/kolrosing.html
http://bladesandbushcraft.com/index.php?topic=1914.0

T-rex - Deborah



Diary 11 march

Well.. weekend is over and the kids can wake up any minute so they can go to school. They realy seem to like it there. They often invite friends over and I always thought that at this age children would go to school just to have fun and so they can learn how to interact with others, was kinda surprised when I noticed they are learning how to write and they're pretty good at it.  Time's going fast.

Lately, out of sheer boredom, I started crafting again. I tried to make a duck call but it was to time consuming without powertools. I also made some kind of gooseboard on a common A4 paper, when I fold it I can bring it with me and it doesn't take alot of space.

Today I will start looking for my Tin can that I use for charcoal/cloth making.. I have 2 of them but can't find them both and these are important when it comes to firemaking so I need to find it before I head out. I will also once again pick up needle and tread in order to strengthen my diy backpack even more. When fully loaded it becomes pretty heavy (don't have a scale so I can't tell exactly how heavy) and I don't want the pack to tear when I'm on the road.

I'm doing pretty good nowadays, I am not sick anymore and I'm doing a good job at keeping negativity out of my mind. I guess part of the reason why I'm feeling so good is because of my fitness routine. Today I will also do some fitness if I get a moment all by myself. I am also going to look at specific training method for cyclists and hikers.

That's it for today, Take care.
For the song of the day here's the best guitar solo ever in my opinion.. enjoy

Queen - Brighton rock (Live @ Wembley '86)



Diary 7 march

At the moment I'm trying to wake up a little.. Cup of coffee and canned Tuna for breakfast :) watching doomsday preppers on Nat geo. I'm not a prepper.. I'm bugging out before a potential shtf scenario.. Still I gotta love this show, and the whole idea behind prepping makes total sense to me.
Soon I'll write an article about my view on preppers.

So it seems that spring is just around the corner. a couple of weeks ago the grass in my garden was hidden because of all the snow and tomorrow we expect temperatures reaching 15 degrees Celsius.. That's Holland :)  Now that winter is over the spring reminds me of how much time I've got left.

I have decided to no longer bash on any people I know. Over the past few years I have become a bittered, grumpy old man but from now on I am no longer going to blame my family-in-law, my girlfriend or whoever for my own downfall.
No one wants to be angry all the time or have a mind filled with hate.. it changes you, making you become you're own worse enemy.

How on earth can I still call myself a Buddhist if I only love my children and despise all others I see every day. I should be at peace with myself and my surroundings, instead I find myself in a cold war between me and my GF's family.
In order to get rid of all the anger inside and in order to give this blog a more positive vibe I will from now  on write about my coming journey only aswell as primitive and off grid living and other things that are relevant. Peace will return to this blog and I will do whatever I can to let peace return into my life aswell.. I'm not going to try and become friends with my family in law.. it's too late for that, the damage has been done. But from now on I'm not going to ignore them anymore and I will treat them the way they deserve to be treated.. with a little more respect.

I am going to train both body and mind.. At the moment I'm doing some fitness 3 to 4 times a week. Nothing special.. just to gain some strength in order to be able to cycle/hike across Europe. It's mostly body workouts with the occasional use of dumbbells at home since I do not have the time or money to join a gym.. I still have 3 kids to take care off, and I rather spend my last months with them then at some gym. Also the goal is to become stronger, not to become a bodybuilder ;)
When the kids are at school, the wife is at work and my youngest baby girl is doing her nap I not only have time for some fitness, I also have time to work on training my mind.
So I will start studying all the buddhist literature I have laying around and meditate and put Buddhism into practice.. no longer will just call myself a Buddhist but from now on I will also act like one.

That is it for now. I'm off to do some fitness, Till next time ;)

Here is the song of the day.. one of my favorite songs from one of my favorite bands..

Queen - The show must go on



Diary 5 march

Today was a good day.
I did some fitness, watched some of Dave Canterbury's trapping videos on youtube, played with the kids and I ended this day with playing poker with my girlfriend.

I notice a change in my behaviour and a change in the way I think.. I knew it would soon come to this.. The voice inside my head that tells me to stay....

It is the voice that tells you to stop following your path, your dream, your ambition. The voice tries to convince you that you head out to surten death. It tries to poison my mind with guilt towards my parents and most of all my children. It tells you to stick with the old or that you need more time for closure..
But, as always, I do not give in, I can't stop now and I shouldn't.... of course I don't really hear voices but you get the point.

Because at the same time I'm having visions (of course not real visions but.. :) ) where I'm in a pineforest sitting near a lake, behind me is my campfire and cozy shelter, The traps are all set and I'm off to do some fishing and the mountains on the other side of the lake are shinning in the mid-day sun...
Yes I know, I'm romanticizing things but on the other hands it helps to keep a positive attitude.



Tupac Shakur - Never had a friend like me



Diary 4 march

I'm not sick anymore but now our youngest daughter is getting ill and since she's just a baby I am a bit worried. But I'm pretty sure it will turn out ok. The beef jerky I started making 2 days ago is also done. I tated a bit and it's a lot more difficult to chew then the dried chicken I made earlier. It tasted alright and that is good, because I will be eating this alot on my journey and in the future, the only way I can preserve meat and fish is by drying it.

My dried meat.. Chicken on the left and Beef on the right..












To be honest there is nothing more I can talk about, nothing else happened today worth mentioning.
So goodbye and until next time.

Megadeth - A tout le Monde



Diary 3 march

Since i will be leaving on the 25th of May I have still a few more months to go before I head out.
Yet I feel like i'm ready to head out right now. I know that there are still so many skills to learn that I don't know, but in theory I know more then enough to survive in the wilderness when it comes to the basics such as making a shelter, fishing, trapping. I feel like I could head out on my bike right now and go on this epic journey.. Still I know that I must wait until may.. The weather will be alot better.

What am I going to do in the meanwhile?..

-practicing all that I have learned
-posting here
-fitness.. preparing my body to cycle and hike across europe
-writing usefull info in my selfmade survival munual/field guide
-spending a lot of time with my children now I still can
-eating more then I usualy do, I'll need it later

That's all I will be focused on untill the day I leave, now I'm off to get into shape, take care everyone and have a nice day.

For my song of the day I'll give you Rapalje, an awesome dutch band with an unusual style that I love alot.. they tend to play scottish, dutch and medieval folk music. They often play at medieval and fantasy events.

Rapalje @ keltfest 2007

Diary 2 march

I feel sick and most of my family is suffering from having a cold, It's that time of year again. I am taking it easy most of the time. During the day I sleep a couple of hours, then I wake up and eat, sleep some more and at night I am usually awake and full of energy.. I have a day/night rhythm like some kind of freaking vampire.
I do wonder how I'm going to treat an illness when I'm out in the woods, an illness such as a fever are viruses that go from human to human, if I'm spending the rest of my life living solo I don't really have to worry about that. But simply catching a cold can and will happen. And there are more serious deceases I might suffer from including food poisoning. Learning a thing or two about medical plants may be a good idea, I'm especially interested in how to get rid of headaches and these common colds. At the moment all I really know about this subject is that tea from stinging nettles cleanse the blood and that aroma from lavender can help you fall asleep.. That's not enough..

So what has been happening today?
I am making jerky and I hope the beef will be dried tomorrow.
I have lost my charcoal/charcloth making tin, it's somewhere around the house but have to search some more.
I have been eating lasagna, it was more sauce then pasta.. disgusting.
A girlfriend of my girlfriend is having a sleepover upstairs like she's f*cking twelve.
I have been watching youtube for info on trapping, after the 15th advertisement in 6 minutes I got annoyed like hell.. not a youtube fan anymore.
I couldn't sleep because everyone is coughing all the time.
Other then that my day sucked :)

Tomorrow my girlfriend is going out with her sister and her friend I just mentioned. I will be completely honest; I'm always happy when she leaves for a while, I have the whole house for myself, I can prepare for my departure without anyone bothering me. There used to be a time when I would miss her or when I was afraid that if she was going out without me, that she might cheat on me.. at this moment I wouldn't even care if she did..   We both changed and she changed most of all in my opinion.. It sits on the couch all day shouting at her kids telling them what to do and she considers that 'raising your children' so she can watch her precious TV. It burps and farts all day long.. there is nothing feminine about her anymore.
Anyhow tomorrow she will go out, party with their girls and waste her money on alcohol and puge in the toilet once she's home like all good, responsible mothers do..

That'll be enough drama for today so take care everyone.

Michael Jackson - Leave me alone

Diary 28 feb

Yesterday my girlfriend came home from work but before she came home she did some shopping (woman...). This time however she bought something for me that was usefull.

This is a LED lamp for camping, nighttime fishing and other outdoor activities. It works on 4 AA batteries and it has 2 modes.. a normal bright light and a small red light that gives you just a little bit of light but saves energy. As you can see it has a hook so you can hang it inside your tent, or outside since it's water proof.  She bought it at Action for about 3 euro's.. Awesome..

As you can imagine I examined this camping light and wondered if I would take it with me... Again, is it realy usefull or will it just take up space? I decided to take it with me, it is always good to have a little light when it gets dark. Once the batteries ar dead I might turn it into a cup (it looks like it has potential to turn into a cup) or I would just throw the darn thing away... I still have a candle or an oillamp.  Anyhow.. it's added to the items list.


So what else has been happening?
Well my GF wants to go out with some of her friends next weekend, you know.. head to smelly bars, listening and dancing to awefull music and of course spending a shitload of money on alcohol in an effort to get drunk or rather sick. Naturaly I will stay at home watching the kids while while she's off wasting money and braincells.  One of her friends, a guy called jeffrey wanted to crash at my place and sleep it off. He was a bit upset that I did not want that to happen. What did he expect? I have seen the guy once and then I have to let him sleep on my couch in my home? No way dude.. Nothing personal but I don't let people sleep overnight in my home when I barely know them.. I have children and therefore I have to be responsible.. I don't want them to wake up and find some drunken guy they don't know in their home. And I also don't wan't to get my camera stolen again. I'm a 32 years old father, I'm not in college anymore.
Once I have left this godforsaken place she can do whatever she likes and invite whoever she likes.

My days among those who dwell on the streets of modern society are numbered.. The pressure is overwelming but I remain enthousiastic and optimistic. This blog has over 5000 pageviews.. that's more then good enough for me. I started this blog in November last year and now that the end is near I am beginning to wonder what to post in these 2 final months.. So here are topics that I will write about before I'll leave.

-About hygiene in the bush and it's importance
-About medicine and heaing plants
-About how to navigate without a compass
-A tutorial on how to make a fish trap and primitive fishing hook
-A tutorial on how to make an arrow
-About my tin can Hobo cooking set and the test
-About why I will not take a firearm with me.
-My favourite youtube bushcraft/survival videos
-Food for on the early stages of my journey

And probably more. I will also write a few post that will be notes or letters to those I leave behind (My children, girlfriend even my family-in-law) Since these letters are personal and just for them I will write them in the language we speak, Dutch.

Thats all folks, take care and have a great day

The Spice Girls - Viva forever



Diary 25 feb

Another lame day.. The kids are at school, milady is off trying to get her drivers license. I hope she'll pass.. no wait.. I don't care really..

Today I will try fire making with the friction methods since I failed at making fire with the flint & steel method. I did got some advice to use an old file instead of a knife.. will give this a try later.
The plan is to head into the garden, into the shed and not come out until I get a good ember.
And while I'm at it I can also test my hobo tin cooking set.

I feel tired, very tired.. I guess this is because my future journey is on my mind every day and the whole day.. I just can't seem to give it a rest every now and then. Do I pack enough food? Where will I go? Could this be edible? Is my backpack sturdy enough? or is it too heavy in the longrun?
The part of my brain that has to make decisions is doing overtime and it must be overheated.
Tiredness, a lack of energy, fear of failure and other negativity is trying to get a hold on me..

Now that my days in society are numbered the idea of heading out into the unknown and being all by myself starts to scare me a little for the first time. The only thing that scares me most is staying.
The idea of being completely alone out there is liberating and scary at the same time. I become more and more aware of the possible dangers. Not just physical dangers but mental aswell.

Sometimes I look around me.. I see my girlfriend, her sister, her father, her family, her friends, my neighbours, my daughter's teacher.. I realised I got to know quite a lot of people over the past years. They are all strangers to me, every single one of them. Even people who call me their friend, I have no idea who the hell they are even though they have been visiting us for years. I have nothing in common with these folks. I start to wonder if I will ever find someone that I have at least one thing in common with. All these guys can talk about is their mobile phones, their tablets, their career, their car.. it goes on and on and on.. jesus!

My girlfriend just called.. she passed.. now she is well on her way to get a drivers license and a car.. good for her.

I used to be one of them you know.. I would buy an mp3 player because I thought that would make me happy. After a while the mp3 player was "old" and others convinced me that it was no longer "cool".. The mp3 player did no longer made me happy. Then I bought a new mp3 player thinking "this will make me happy"...
Then I stepped out of this everlasting circle and realised that most people were nothing more but sheep!
Why do I let others tell me what to buy or what is cool? Why do you want to have the same car your neighbour has? Why can't you make up your own mind? You say you are an individual yet you are a sheep! If a 100 guys shout "Go left!" you will go left..    Sheep I tell ya, SHEEP!!! Bèhhhhh...!

Hahaha, I'm just kidding you guys. But there is some truth to this story. We should often ask ourselves why we buy so much stuff. Do you realy need it or did you just buy it to be "hip like others". And who cares what others think. People should like you for who you are not for what you own.. remember.. be yourself, don't follow the herd ;)

That's it for now. Time for the song of the day

Red Hot Chillie Peppers - Under the bridge 

Diary 23 feb

Yesterday I decided it was time to learn how to make fire without matches, a lighter, firesteel etc.
I still have not managed to make a fire with natural materials and knowing how to do this before I leave is vital. I tried the bowdrill and fire plough techniques and I get smoke but not a good amber and it leaves me wondering what I do wrong. Since it is still cold outside I decided to practice making sparks with stones yesterday. About a year ago I found many black, shiny stones during my vacation, I brought many home with me because I naturally assumed that this was flint or Vuursteen (Firestone) as we call them in Holland.

So yesterday I tried the Flint & Steel method again but I do not get sparks! Frustrates the hell out of me.
I do not have a good iron striker but I have several carbon steel knives that should do the trick.. but it doesn't.. I tried it with a piece of flint and my opinel and did not get any sparks. Then I even tried a piece of flint on another piece of flint.. Stupidly enough that did worked.. I got very few sparks but they're useless. One piece of flint even had some iron/rust content. I have seen how it should be done on tutorials. Either there is a secret to this technique I don't know about, Or the pieces of flint are in fact not flint at all and just looks like it.   I better try and find some help online.

While I was add it smashing flint on flint a flake broke of. A realy thin piece of flint. Well if I can't use this crap for making sparks or a fire then why not try to make a arrowhead out of that thin flake. Making a stone arrowhead with my level of experience will take at least a few days so I'll get back on that later.

Today I am going to read the Lord of the Rings one last time since I cannot bring it with me, during my final days here among humanity I will read all my books and watch my favourite movies one last time and then throw them away. Going away and leave nothing behind.

I am not completely sure but there is a chance that before I go I have one final holiday with my gf and the kids. A holiday in a park in a forest. That gives me the chance to practice some skills and sleep a night outside before I actually head out. But since my gf nowadays is trying to get her driving license and now she has joined a gym it is very possible that we won't be able to afford a quick vacation. I hate it when it's all about her.

That's it for now, take care everyone, here is the song of the day.
"Let's hear it for the hottest band in the world..."

 KISS - Shandi

Diary 21 feb

The letter to my father is also finished and is ready to be posted, but it has to wait a couple of months. I still can't find my mothers adress so I might have to send her an email instead of the traditional letter, which sucks.

The kids are at school and my gf is at the gym.. and I just gotta respect that. She became a member there a few days ago and this is the second time she's going. But personaly it does not change anything between her and me. Looks are good, but it's the personality that you have to live with day by day. If she keeps holding on like this and becomes a size 6 she will still be a rotten egg that looks good on the outside.

In my last post I wrote about how to make incense without the typical asian ingredients.
Today I burned the incense I was making in that specific tutorial and here are the results:
It went sweet!!! I lit the top of the incense cone and it burnt all the way down without a flame as it is supossed to be. A few concerns however.. First, it burned way to fast, it was over in a minute or so, might use less charcoal next time.. Second, I do not to find a better binder, it was way to brittle.. Third, A scent definately came of other then that of burned charcoal but I did'nt like it, that's the least of my problems, just find better ingredients next time.

I have been looking into my food problem lately and I have upgraded the amount of food I will be taking with me. Such as noodles, instant soups and I'm stiil looking into foods that doesn't need to be heated.
I have updated the Items list , the list that shows you all the items I will be taking with me on my journey/trip/queste.. Some items were taken off the list most likely because they were not important enough to take with me. Other items were added to the list, mostly food and water.
And other items were modified.. For example I wanted to bring a book with me purely for entertainment, back then I decided to choose The lord of the rings. Now I changed that to The hobbit.. why?
The Hobbit is about 250 pages, LOTR about 870!! I can easily say that will make my backpack lighter by a kilo, at least.. (aslong as it's tolkien)

When I first made the list (2 years ago) it was huge, I was being unrealistic, Even if I could carry all that stuff on my back it would become sheer hell after carrying it for weeks on my back. But i've learned a lot since then.. I got rid of stuff..
And now I often look at the list and ask myself 2 questions when looking at every individual item; Do I realy need it? and Can it be made in the wilderness instead?

That's it for now hope you enjoyed

Deep Purple - Child in time

Diary 19 feb

Realisation starts to kick in and it kicks in hard..
I am actually going to do this! This is really happening!

Just a few more months and then I will leave, It will turn my life upside down. It will be an experience unlike any other. I will do what few people have done before me. I will, one day, have a story to tell, oh boy.
I'm turning my back to all the drama and anger and I will head on towards a simplified, peacefull way of living.

I have started to write letters to my parents. The letter to my mother (and sister) is finished but I can't find her address online.. Ain't that something.. I don't know my mothers address.. Well then again we barely spoke in recent years still I think I owe her a letter, a few final words from her son, rather she cares or not is upto her. The letter to my father is not yet finished but I will finish it tonight, his address was easily found on google.

I will post these letters once i'm out of the door. It is important to me that I send them since they are about why I leave, where I'm going and that they'll be on my mind.

I will also be spending less time online apart from posting on this blog and learning skills I won't be needing a computer. I have changed my name into Ralph Sungila instead of my real last name so I am harder to find for people who actually know me. Sungila means "Fox" or "Red Fox" in the language of the Lakota natives.. the name suits me. I have also changed my google and twitter password so that "Those we do not speak off" cannot change or delete my blog once I'm gone.

I need to spend more time offline to practice the skills I've learned. Now that the weather slowly gets warmer I will go outdoors as much as I can. The most important skill I still need to practice is making a fire from natural materials. I know how it's done but haven't managed to get a fire going.. Become good at the skill of fire making before I leave is a must!!

It's time for the song of the day.. Perhaps you remember the Kelly Family? those long haired children who were all brothers and sisters and formed a family band? well they've came a long way since then and the video proves it ;)
That's it for now boys and girls.. Take care of yourself and eachother ;)

The kelly Family - Break the walls