Diary 22 dec

It has been a while since I wrote a diary entry so I better get started.

I have been trying to reach out to others who are on the same path as I am so I can help them and the other way around. Because I might need some encouragement especially because it's almost christmas and it will be the last christmas I will spend with my family.. More of such days will come.. celebrating birthdays for the last time including my own, listening to my favorite song for the last time, watching my favorite movie for the last time, eating my favorite food.... is it all worth it.. awell, there is no turning back now.

A few days ago my girlfriend (if I can still call her that) had a night out with some of her friends, you know.. going from one bar to another and drink until she can't function anymore, but after a while she and her barmates got home and I found out that one of her friends wasn't her friend anymore, apparently her friend (some guy) was being annoying that night and they got into a fight. Well, that's what alcohol does, it turns normal people (and idiots like them) into complete animals because at first he was her friend and after a few drinks she wanted to kill him (or so she says).

But other then that I have also been a complete idiot today.. I sleep awful nowadays or I do not sleep at all sometimes and this morning I fell asleep at 4 in the morning and later on the doorbell woke up.. it was my father-in-law who has picked up the kids from school.. "Ah Fu*k, I should have picket them up from school, I overslept" Stupid moron how could I!?.. of course he started giving me a lecture, which is normal and I had it coming, on the other hand he only seems to be willing to talk to me when he has something to complain or something to bitch about. but it did not end up in total bloodshed, which is good I guess.

What else has been going on?..
Well business as usual, it is still boring over here and yes I get tired from my own negativity, my gf still runs the club and my home still feels like her home, she runs this joint. she does her stuff and I do my thing, no unity and no love over here and it looks like things aren't going to change. I could spend another year here but it will be another year of my life waisted, nothing to gain only precious time to lose here. Two people living separate life's under the same roof.... I should have staid in Rotterdam.

That's about it for now, yesterday was the 21st.. Hopefully there are more survivors like me out there ;)